Saturday, January 14, 2006
Jesus take the wheelTake it from my handsCause I can't do this all on my ownI'm letting goSo give me one more chanceTo save me from this road I'm onJesus take the wheelhave you ever realised one day that there are so many expectations from people around you that you are almost suffocating? that u are like some helpless and pathetic goldfish out of water, gasping for air?
maybe this morning i was... i was some lil goldfish on the verge of death... having a headache, life seemingly messed up. but i realised just this afternoon that i put myself in this mess when i didn't need to at all...
i realised that God has really put me to the test these 2 years... really... and looking back at secondary school, i realised how easily i sailed thru everything cos then i was extremely protected and all... i can conclude that 2 years ago i was probably not ready to face the challenge of being in a good class... or rather one of the top classes. yes, 2 years ago i was in a really bad class... 3rd last from the bottom... that was good for me cos the teachers had little expectations from my class... we weren't expected to get As or Bs... we weren't expected to do extremely well. practically nothing. but now, things have changed and i do believe that its moulding time... cos the moulding can only be visible on the clay when the pressure is great.
maybe this morning i was on the verge of keeling over at the pressure... let it take over me... let me just faint and submit to that fact that the pressure is great, drag my feet thru the year, throw my tantrums, get very stressed, and give myself more excuses and reasons to try slitting my wrist.
but no... that's not what i'm going to do. if the devil ever thought he was gonna try that on me... i'm not gonna allow that to happen. remember 2 days ago i just wrote this verse from ephesians 4:27 - "and do not give the devil a foothold." a foothold where??? in every aspect of your life, i believe.
you know Jesus said in Matthew 6:25 & 33,34 - "Therefore i tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food and the body more important than clothes? ... But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. "
wow... itsn't it so true that "each day has enough trouble of its own"? i totally agree... everyday is a challenge... if u are wondering if these verses tell you that you should just throw away your goals and ambitions and dreams in life, you're wrong... no, God doesn't want you to throw away your goals and ambitions and dreams... yet, it has to be inclined with His goals and ambitions and dreams for you so that you wouldn't be living the life of your own and messing it up thoroughly... that's why when we offer up our lives to Him and put all our aspirations and dreams and futures in His hands, we are assured that He wants the best for us and won't need to worry.
i remember Bea gave this analogy when she share devotions during the SARS period in sec3 in class. she said, putting our trust and our faith in God is like us giving our giganormous school bag full of books God and we say "God, i can't take this anymore, i know you will carry it for me, so please take it." but then before we give it to Him, we open the bag, and take out all the books and decide to carry them all by ourselves. so technically, God is carrying the bag, but its empty, and we are still carrying the load, just without the bag. isn't it really silly? quoting the words of ms kuah... "INDEED".
Psalm 119:105 - " Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path."
Psalm 1:1 & 2 - "Blessed is the man (or girl, or Princess) who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night."
is God to us a 'vending-machine' God? only when we need him we go up to him and scream for help and demand his rescue immediately... mediation day and night... wow... that's like... 24/7 . but i realise that truely, if i want to get out of this mess and not let the devil ever try to get me again using thoughts that are not inclined with God's will for me, i have to start meditating 24/7.
boy... i just realised that this entry is really long... but ya... that's my thoughts for this week and especially today. =)
Jesus take the wheelTake it from my handsCause I can't do this all on my ownI'm letting goSo give me one more chanceTo save me from this road I'm onJesus take the wheel
6:56 pm
soak up the son
