Your love is warmer than the warmest sunshine

Thursday, August 31, 2006

whoots... dinner was even more awesome than words can describe. *floats* never had such wonderful authentic Japanese food in a long long time. haha.

yeap. that's us, and the yummilicious spread before us. heehee.
but what is this feeling within me? it makes me cry each time i think about it and i feel so lost... =((

10:43 pm
soak up the son

had an awesome teachers' day this year. haha. photos will come later.

went to bea's house yesterday to bake and had such a smashing fun time. her sis, jasmine, was such a patient dear with us. i'd probably have eaten my sister's head if she kept yelling for me non-stop like that from the kitchen. hahahaha.

here's a lil note to that wonderful and precious foursome that i've spent my week with:
hi dears. what a busy week we had. papers first half and then baking and buying presents and writing notes the second half. but i know that life would just be so different without u guys. and u don't know how much i appreciate you darlinks.
sometimes i wonder why i get so annoying. and i know that i do get very anxious over nothing and just this kan-cheong spider who can't seem to get a hold of herself when she's stressed. but i'm really so glad that u guys are always so frank with me and so ready to point out my mistakes and my stupidity with love and laughter cos it takes a true friends to tell u where u are wrong without hiding it from you or afraid of making you angry. indeed, i know that u sweets will always be there to watch me grow, showering me with your love and concern each step of the way.
to more years of awesome friendship and cookie baking. HUGS and MUACKS.

yeappers. all rightio. its time for me to change and get ready to leave the house. toodles.

4:10 pm
soak up the son

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Prelims are officially OVER!!! woo hoo!!! =) *jumps for joy*

its time to take a short and restful break from all that mugging. i'm getting the furnace ready to burn my books and notes after the As. hahahaha.

oh wells. Teachers' Day is coming up and boy am i excited!!! hahahaha. cos of all the preparations and gift shopping and all sorts. heh. this Teachers' Day is gonna be good. =)

went for lunch with the AHReds today and some of the AHblues. its been such a long time since we actually had time to sit down and even have a proper meal without scurrying off quickly after munching the last bits of our food and scrambling back to our books. hahaha. okay, that was hyperbolic. but it was more or less like that.

Busy day tomorrow!!! but i'm all geared up for it!! muahahaha.

When you're down and troubled
And you need a helping hand
And nothing, whoa nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up, even your darkest nights.

You just call out my name,
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running, oh yeah
To see you again.
Winter, spring , summer, or fall,
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.

If the sky above you
Should turn dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together and call my name out loud
And soon I will be knocking upon your door.
yes you. =)

10:25 pm
soak up the son

Saturday, August 26, 2006

moulding hurts..

but take me and mould me Lord;

and everything will be beautiful in Your time.

11:37 pm
soak up the son

Friday, August 25, 2006

worried. very very worried.
i really can't help it..
why am i so scared?
ahhhh....

10:52 pm
soak up the son

Thursday, August 24, 2006

last paper tomorrow!! *jumps for joy* okay fine. other than e8 paper which i refuse to count as my last paper cos seriously... u can't exactly study for prac crit other than revising all the techniques, styles, blah blah... besides, u don't need 4 and a half days to study for e8. hahaha. but yes. my last official, mind blowing, heart bleeding, sleep robbing paper.. =)

i shan't comment about the extremely demoralizing m*** paper today.. it left me thoroughly stunned for the next 20 minutes after i walked out of the hall. roar.
sometimes, just sometimes...
oh well. econs tomorrow. don't think its gonna be good and i don't think i'll be sleeping much tonight either. haha.
i can't help but think i'm just a substitute.
somehow though i'm very mentally exhausted these few days, i can't help but allow my mind to wonder about quite a bit. thinking about all sorts of random things.. sigh. yeah. and cos of that i'm more prone to stoning over the past week.. just allowing those thoughts to run wild in my head. cannot help it. even tho i tell myself 'Esther, you have to saddle your thoughts', i just have no energy left sometimes. haha. okay, this is getting emo. haha.
oh well. i guess i'm just being silly again. i hope i am...
i can't wait for next week!! =) woo hoo!!

8:16 pm
soak up the son

Saturday, August 19, 2006

To hear You pray in the garden alone
Laying down Your will with each tear
To see You walk that lonely road
Willing to die for me
And in that moment
I know I should have been there
You took my cross and gave Your life
thank you my dearest dearest ethel. i love you so. =)
And You live again
Wish I could have been there
My only wish is to see You, Jesus, face to face
Someday I'll be there, I'm gonna be there
I'll see Your face, Your mercy, Your grace
Someday, someday
I'm gonna see You, Jesus
Face to Face

8:01 pm
soak up the son

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

yikes. i've been slacking quite a bit today...

haha. cannot help it. first break i got since... i don't even remember when.

goodness, what am i still doing online?

i shall go do geography now.

this is quite random but...
ps. hey HONs dear, i haven't had much time to talk to you recently. i know u read my blog, so just wanna say i love you sweets. study hard babe. i'll always be behind u all the way. hugs. =)

study hard everyone... 2 more weeks to go!!!

8:21 pm
soak up the son

studying makes me cranky and selfish and stupid. argh.

i hate studying.

i feel so helpless...

=((

sorry for being insensitive and roaring..
sorry i couldn't understand..

For just a moment I wish I could have been there
When You left Your footprints upon the waves
To walk along beside You and never look away
Just Your whisper and the wind and sea obey
Lord, help me. i can't stand myself like this.

6:27 pm
soak up the son

Sunday, August 13, 2006

its less than 24 hours to prelims day 1 and i'm online. hahaha. but since i'm at it, i might as well do something that helps me destress. LOL.

1) smoked
2) consumed alcohol
3) slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
4) slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
5) made out with someone of the opposite sex
6) made out with someone of the same sex
7) had someone in your room of the opposite sex
8) watched porn
9) bought porn
10) done drugs
TOTAL: 4

11) taken pain killers
12) taken someone else's prescription medicine
13) lied to your parents
14) lied to a friend
15) snuck out of the house
16) done something illegal
17) cut yourself
18) hurt someone
19) wished someone to die
20) seen someone die
TOTAL: 4

21) missed curfew
22) stayed out all night
23) eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
24) been to a therapist
25) been to rehab
26) dyed your hair
27) received a ticket
28) been in a wreck
29) been to a club
30) been to a bar
TOTAL: 3

31) been to a wild party
32) seen the Mardi Gras
34) had a spring break in Florida
35) sniffed anything
36) wore black nail polish
37) wore arm bands
38) wore t-shirts with band names
39) listened to rap
40) own a 50 cent CD
TOTAL: 1 (assuming the Wild Party we had is counted. haha)

41) dressed gothic
42) dressed prep
43) dressed punk
44) dressed grunge
45) stole something
46) been too drunk to remember anything
47) blacked out
48) fainted
49) had a crush on your neighbor
50) had someone sneak into your room
TOTAL: 3

51) snuck into someone else's room
52) had a crush on someone of the same sex
53) been to a concert
54) dry humped someone
55) been called a slut
56) called someone a slut
57) installed speakers in your car
58) broke a mirror
59) showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
60) brushed your teeth with someone elses toothbrush
TOTAL: 4

61) consider Mac, Dre, e40 or Mistah Fab your favorite rapper
62) seen an R rated movie in theaters
63) cruised the mall
64) skipped school
65) had an eating disorder
66) had an injury
67) gone to court
68) walked out of a restaurant without paying
69) caught something on fire
70) lied about your age
TOTAL: 6

71) owned an apartment
72) cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend
73) cheated with someone
74) got in trouble with the police
75) talked to a stranger
76) hugged a stranger
77) kissed a stranger
78) rode in the car with a stranger
79) been sexually harassed
80) been verbally harassed
TOTAL: 3

81) met face to face with someone you met online
82) stayed online for 12 hours straight
83) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight
84) watched TV for 12 hours straight
85) been to a fair
86) been called a bad influence
87) cursed
88) prank called someone
89) laid in the bed with someone of the opposite sex
90) cheated on a test
TOTAL: 7

91) cheated on homework
92) held hands with someone of the opposite sex
93) been pushed into a pool
94) played pool
95) watched 5 hours of mtv straight
96) had a crush on someone 10 years older than you
97) had a crush on someone younger than you
98) wear eyeliner
99) skinny dipped
100) laughed at someone who was seriously hurt
TOTAL: 6

GRAND TOTAL: 41!!! LOL.

all right. enough rest time. back to work. =)

3:50 pm
soak up the son

Saturday, August 12, 2006

i've long wanted to say some stuff to a certain few individuals just that i've never exactly dared to... well, yeah. call me a coward, but that's just the way its gonna be.

13 things i wanna say to people without revealing their identities:
1. i miss you so so much and u probably don't know how much i hope u are there for me. i know u have your own life and other things to do... but still i wish u could just spare some time for me when i need to really talk to u. u've really been an inspiration to me and u'll always be. hopefully we get to meet up soon again.
2. i haven't talked to you for a long long time. sigh. i hope you are doing okay. sometimes i just don't know what to say to you.
3. i think u are a great person and i really hope we will continue to be friends for a really long time but i'm very scared to be around u cos i'm afraid u judge every thing that i do with your skeptism.
4. u're a really awesome person, always there for me and willing to help me out cos u understand so much about things around you, but your expediency makes me extremely weary of you and your advice for me, because i can't bring myself to think the way u do and do the things u deem right.
5. rawr. just go away. seriously. leave me alone, will you?
6. u silly billy.. sometimes i really wish u'd just tell me what on earth is going on in your life cos u know i'll always be there, and stop thinking that i won't understand cos i do. roar.
7. i'm not really sure how i feel about you, cos its a mixture of apprehension and admiration.
8. words can't express how i feel about u. u've never failed me and u've been there for me each step of the way and i really hope that we'll always be like we are now till we are old and grey.
9. roar. stop being so elitist will you? its getting very irritating.
10. i just wanna say sorry for what i did the other day. i didn't mean to. i know stress is a lame excuse. i admit i was having a bad day and i was in one of my stupid moods. sorry. i don't think i'll ever forget what i did.
11. i love you, sweets. =)
12. thank you so so much for being there for me. i really appreciate every lil thing that u've done to make me feel happier and smile when i'm feeling down. dunno what i'd do if u just disappear from the face of this earth, so please don't. hahaha.
13. when are we going out again? i need that dose of retail therapy with u. tee hee.

9:03 am
soak up the son

Friday, August 11, 2006

roar. prelims in 2 days. my goodness. can just die.

had dinner with xiao di today and we talked alot. hahahaha... it was quite cool cos i never imagined myself sharing things i shared with him with anyone in the first place. but well. yes... and then we got to the topic of waiting.. and i just realised that indeed, esther has been waiting upon the Lord for a really long time for many many things. and all i can say is that Daddy God is faithful and He never fails. =)

things have been a bit mad these few days. i went for tuition today and realised that everyone was really really stoned. its as if our souls are being sapped out of our lives. hahahaha. yeah. the prelims syndrome. haha.

too many things are happening and there is hardly any time to react to everything around. like seriously, i wish some off these things didn't have to happen to me..

rawr.

i think i'm quite an unrealistic person... i have all those high hopes and sweet day dreams that seriously won't come true, and when the reality of life slaps me on my face, i get really disappointed. hahahaha. seriously, i think my inner person lives in some sort of fairytale land where everything comes with a happy ending attached to it. my goodness, that would be awesome but i do believe that as much as it is awesome, its rather impossible too. hahahaha.

anyways, i shouldn't be thinking so much. should spend more time thinking about trade unions and differenciation and what not. haha.

mug hard and stay sane everyone!!!

love you sweets. thanks for always being there. =)

10:49 pm
soak up the son

Thursday, August 10, 2006

why are some people so selfish?

i don't know and i don't understand...

rawr.

anyways, i've been falling asleep so easily these few days its getting a bit scary. haha. fell asleep last night on my sofa reading geog. my goodness..

all rights, back to work.

can't wait for dinner time. i'm starving..

5:42 pm
soak up the son

Monday, August 07, 2006

dunno why i'm feeling like this...

so weird.

roar.

its been so long since i've felt like this... argh.

not making sense at this moment.

T.T

11:13 pm
soak up the son

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

STUDYING!!!!!!!!

will update with photos and everything when prelims are eventually over. tee hee.

hahahaha. mug hard everyone!!!

=)

9:52 pm
soak up the son