Your love is warmer than the warmest sunshine

Thursday, May 24, 2007

the past week has been a struggle, but alas... the thunderstorm has blown over. i see sunshine and rainbows and kittens now.

you're my wonderwall

2:42 pm
soak up the son

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

depressed.

10:10 am
soak up the son

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

thinking thinking thinking..

i've been wondering what has happened to myself over the past few weeks. as tho all the dark clouds in the world have decided to plonk their grey fat arses over me and block off all the sunshine in my life; maybe its spiritual drought in my life at the moment; maybe its hormonal changes; maybe its stress at work; maybe cos i haven't packed for HK and its in 4 days time; maybe its cos i'm at the crossroads of my life now; maybe cos i'm only 19 and not ready to make so many choices; maybe cos i've been feeling strangely unsettled; maybe cos i'm not even acting like me anymore; maybe cos i'm so tired every day that everyone in office says my colour is getting paler by the day; maybe cos my head is really spinning now; maybe cos i think i'm pretty depressed; maybe...

i really want to just run away and hide in a little corner. there's this gloomy monster eating my insides. i feel like pouting the whole day and throw a friggin tantrum. i am becoming this mood swingy emo shit. RAWRRRRRR.. but escapism isn't exactly going to solve anything.

i just need a shoulder to lean on now.

all that i am is in you
all that i see is to follow you
i run to your side when you call
there is the hope i am longing for

just to be by your side
there is hope in my life
there is no greater freedom i'll find

so take my life
and all that i have to give
take my world just inhabit all of it
take my dreams make me assuredly yours

9:37 am
soak up the son

Sunday, May 20, 2007

grubby

that's how i've been feeling the past week. maybe cause i haven't hit the gym in like a week too. hahaha.

my internet connection at home has been totally screwed up over the weekend. thankfully the repair guys came today after my sister kicked up a big hooha at home and my rants were kinda tired of hearing her whine and whine abt not being able to use the com. its pretty scary how we are getting increasingly dependent on technological equipments like the com and handphones and pdas. i mean think abt it, you probably feel like you've lost an arm when you lose your handphone cos people these days no longer bother to remember handphone numbers in their phones. the ease of losing and retrieving data is even scarier. somehow i feel that the further we progress in this technologically 'advanced' era, the more handicapped we get.

another thing i've realised that my nose has more blood these few days?! hahaha. like i've been sneezing out more bloody stuff.. maybe i've been having way too much heaty food for my own good. not too sure.. or maybe its just the crazy weather that's driving my body haywire. :SSS

its less than 7 days to my trip and i haven't packed!! achievement!! hahahaha... honyi will vividly recall the time when we went to Japan in sec 3 and i packed like a month before the trip. hahahahaha psychotic. can't help it larrr, i was young and damnnnn excited. not saying that i'm not excited for this trip, just that now i think i'm better at controlling the excitement and more zai in that sense. heh, or maybe not. might end up forgetting to bring everything and then have to borrow from ppl. i can't wait to room together with honyi!! not that we haven't already done that before but hahahahaha. i think the few of us roomed together several times already: OBS (when E, Bea and Hon had to put up with me. hhahaha), Japan tour (when we woke up late on several occasions), plus all those other camps in sec 3 and 4, not to mention going to honyi's house and sprawling on her queen sized bed and playing Sims 2. hahahahahaha. my sister is also gonna be leaving next week so she's like packing to go too. and i tripped over the friggin luggage last night in the dark while trying to get back to the room cos it was lying in the middle of the living room?!!? i practically flew (and i'm not joking) over the thing and nearly twisted my big toe. klutz indeed. but oh wells, WOOOO!!! HONG KONG!!! but going to the airport at 4 am is quite a kill-joy in itself. we'll probably be like half awake while walking to our wonderful Jetstar plane. first time taking budget air.. its really going to be an experience! :)))

oh wells i think my blog will be left un-updated till i return. so till then, don't miss me too much!! :PPPP

WORLD PEACEEEEE!

9:56 pm
soak up the son

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you
& I'm wishing that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go? You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone, Girl you could have stayed
but you wouldnt give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more then i can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?

So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you

It's been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You got me feeling crazy (crazy)
How can you walk away,
Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is & it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me, your still in love with me
Don't leave me crying.

Baby why can't we just start over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But your telling me it wont be enough

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you

I'll Be Waiting.

meltinggggg..
i really love the music and lyrics of this song. :))

10:09 am
soak up the son

compromising on the integrity of what you believe in is by far the most spine-chilling decision that could ever be made.

i like being the different person that i am and it really doesn't matter to me if i'm not the same. i can't allow myself to continue this way cos that's not what i want and not who i am.

so many things i hold so precious and dear; tangible and intangible. yet i know that i am veering surely towards the dark side where these once important things suddenly don't seem to matter anymore.

if love is being able to go the distance.. then will you go the distance to be different from the rest of this debauched world rather than go down the slippery slope of regret.

grow old along with me in Him.

Cos i'm healed when Your mercy covers me
When Your light has made me holy
And i am Yours forevermore
And I'll stand where Your majesty abounds
Where i'm safe on solid ground with You
With You
Take me so much deeper with You, my Lord
I am longing for You
Draw me so much closer to You my Lord
I am longing for You, I am longing for You

8:36 am
soak up the son

Friday, May 04, 2007

my life really unfolds in a most baffling and amusing manner..

and i'm loving each moment of it. :))

1:12 pm
soak up the son

Thursday, May 03, 2007

its been a while since i updated this thing. apologies to my avid readers who constantly make their presence felt through the tag board, keeping my blog somewhat alive. hahaha.

the month of april has been an eventful one, especially the last week with all the end april babies: fish, brendan, myself and darren. managed to catch up with most people before everyone leaves the sunny island of singapore for holiday or studies. quite depressing how close friends leave one by one. soon our BBB (Barry's Biblical Babes) cell group, and barry's not even going to be here for long either, will only have those few of us still stuck in singapore. rawrrr.. but oh wells, i guess its good for us to be seperated for a while to study and meet new people, open our eyes to the rest of the world and all that. until we meet again AHSCones... :)) whooo the medicine is making me melancholic. heh

on a lighter note, the op for my wisdom teeth and upper lip thingy wasn't so bad. tho today i strangely can't talk as much as i could compared to yesterday after the op. been eating very mushed up food like porridge and soup and mashed fruits. received loads of tlc from my parents and everyone around. OOoo i feel so loved, other than a certain loan shark who keeps haunting me for the $636 even tho i was warded in hospital and PAID UP ALREADY. hahahaha. i love you hons. :P

i really can't wait till the 27th of this month, 24 more days to go! HONG KONG HERE WE COME!! so exciting actually i can't believe my parents let me go, well they couldn't really refuse cos the 5 of us clowns kinda were already confirming tickets and making payment prior to seeking any parental consent. hahaha. but still they could have made a big hooha abt it and banish me to my room for all eternity! gasp but they didn't. wow. truely pleasant surprise. can't wait to be taking tons of silly pictures and walking down the streets of kowloon with those 4 other lovely human beings i grew up with. i'm really looking forward to the trip!!

uni apps results are back and i'm now stuck in the dilemna of where to go. rawrrrr... need to pray abt this. God be my guide please.

yeapps. till next time, WORLD PEACE! :))

1:23 pm
soak up the son