Sunday, July 16, 2006
ladidah... i've just come back from quite a satisfying shopping trip with my dear family. tee hee.
haven't blogged for a few days, but during these few days, i realised that many people have been thinking quite a bit. well, i'm quite an optimistic person and like even if i do think about stuff, it usually doesn't bother me for very long nowadays and so sometimes i am amazed by how much other people think. seriously. and the best part is, they can't seem to snap out of it. and they carry on for a while in this little pit and never seem to be able to get themselves out of their 'thoughts'.
if i make it seem as if u shouldn't reflect on your life and actions and words, well i'm not trying to say that. i'd be lying if i said i haven't thought about my own life and person as a whole. but i feel that sometimes such obsessive thinking can really get you down and drive u a bit mad. because seriously, thoughts never really end. like in poetry, all those run-on-lines never seem to allow the fullstop to come. they seem to go on and on and on. and yes, that's our human thought process, this never ending stretch of ideas that race through our brain.
the thing is, i realised that a lot of times, it is during these thought processes, especially when you haven't been spending time in Daddy God's presence and u don't have people around you to get you to snap out of it and guide you back on track that the devil manages to manipulate them and cause you to feel insignificant and isolated. worst still, make you seem far away from God and impossible for God to reach. and then these thoughts never end and u just drift further and further away from His love. haha. yeah. my goodness, that's when u can really go mad.
i mean, thinking isn't wrong. but the thing is, under what circumstances are u brought to thought? is it a realisation of God's love for you and those around u that u reflect on His goodness? is it during service when the pastor said something about a certain character trait that u know u lack and want to have and then reflect on what you've been doing wrong, asking God to mould you into the person He wants you to be? or is it some nasty stuff said by a friend and further words of discouragement that put u down and u start thinking that maybe u are such a horrible person and u need to change for the better? or is it a snowball of previous situations that have made u realise that maybe u suck after all and everything wrong that ever happened was because of you? somehow u probably don't realise it, but when u are overwhelmed by these thoughts, they are usually about
you. yes, its just about
you you you and only you. thoughts like,
how am I supposed to react? is there anything wrong in being ME? am I such a terrible person? maybe I do deserve to be treated this way, maybe that's why people saying such things to ME... but hey! wait a second there, seriously, its really not about
US. its about
Him. its not about
ME, I or MYSELF. which would bring us back to our fundamental question as a human being.
then what am I here for? well, simple.
you are here for Him. sometimes i choose not to think so much because i know that its really not going to get me anywhere but make me develop spiral into depression. i'm not running away from self reflection or self awareness and realisation. but its because
i know that everything i do,
is
for His glory and His fame and not mine. so if i'm not living for myself, the thoughts and questions that i pose to myself shouldn't be angled to me, myself and i. you know, i think its times like these when there our minds are so clogged up by thoughts that we can't hear that still small voice that is calling deep down within our hearts.
whoar... it sounds very easy to say huh? haha. well, i know cos there were so many times when i almost went mad. yet the only reason why i can sit here today in front of my computer is cos of my Daddy God's love and the fact that i know that He will never fail His princess.
NEVER. even if the world came tumbling down on me, He will protect me and catch me.
i know its not easy, but i guess for my dearest friends out there (*you know who you are), i hope you listen out for the Holy Spirit calling within you. cos He will teach you what to do and He is the comforter. yeap. =)
*disclaimer: this ain't an emo post... was meant to encourage people who are emo.
on a lighter note, i just got my Orientation 2006 cd!! yay!! me, gerrarder and our kiddos.. woots!!
CEREBRO ROCKS!!
5:23 pm
soak up the son
on a lighter note, i just got my Orientation 2006 cd!! yay!! me, gerrarder and our kiddos.. woots!! CEREBRO ROCKS!!