Thursday, November 16, 2006
barely mnaged to survive this week. all the papers came flooding in all at once.
i'm so tired. slept at 12 and woke up at 4 this morning just to study geog paper 2. yet, the paper turned out so crappy that i seriously wanted to hide in some corner and cry. its gonna be a joke if i do better for geog S that the actually paper. i'm really disappointed. yeah, i guess no point crying over spilled milk, but its just that sometimes it ain't so easy to get over it.
sigh.
i don't know. i guess i'll continue doing my best for the other papers. i can really say that i did all i could for this geog paper and its been a feat that i've been able to survive this week. yes, only by His grace and Him carrying me thru this. 8 essays, 6 drqs, 1 mcq, 1 case study so far. tomorrow, it'll make 10 essays. gosh, how does a normal human being write 10 essays in a week. roar.
after all those bloody exam battles, i've been getting a lot of nightmares. perhaps i'm starting to experience a pseudo-war experience, where in Regen and First World War Poetry, soldiers just keep getting haunted by all those traumatic and psychologically devastating side effects of war. haha. its a war out there all right. yeap, right in the ACJC Sports Complex. been getting really bad nightmares. lets just say that ever since the exams started i haven't exactly even slept properly. the symptoms of war neurosis are appearing. haha.
i've come to realise that sometimes even the most mature person can get childish, even the strongest person can be weak, even the most understanding of people can be unreasonable, and the most knowledgable can be unsure. yet, some people just fail to realise that. am i not just human too? made of the same flesh, blood and bones as the next person standing on the streets. but no, perhaps i'm expected to know everything and to figure out for myself what on earth is going on. sigh. seriously, how will i know what's wrong if no one says anything??? i'm really not God. i don't want to be God anyways. not that i don't want to be Christ-like. i just NOT God.
too many things have happened. guess after this week i can finally breathe a little and start picking up some of the pieces that have been broken for a long time.
when ethel said that we'd go out for lunch today, it suddenly came to my realisation that i haven't heard or said the 2 sacred words 'GO OUT' for a long time. haha. epitomy of deprivation. sad case.
this is so emo and melancholic. sigh. but i'm not gonna pretend to be happy and that everything is okay when well, life hasn't exactly been a bed of roses. not that i'll start trumpeting to the world my woes and worries, i mean
NO i won't even do that. hahaha. this entry serves the pure and simple purpose of a little catharsis. yeappers.
paper tomorrow. perhaps i shall go and rediscover my annotation prowress now. hahaha.
till next time, WORLD PEACE. =)
5:01 pm
soak up the son
